Clumsy Elf, Prissy Human
by tigersmeleth
Summary: It's been a LONG long day for Legolas, and he's exhausted, not to mention a bit clumsy...


Wow...there have been so many serious fics...I felt that we needed a humorous one without any torture (well, unless you consider Legolas losing some of his dignity and grace torture).  
  
SUMMARY: Aragorn and Legolas are exhausted from a trip, and Legolas is even more exhausted than Aragorn to the point where he starts becoming very clumsy...  
  
DISCLAIMER: Sadly enough, I own nothing  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: First, there are a few people I need to thank, as they were the inspiration for this little story. This whole thing really started with Linzy back in January when she told the story about her falling down the stairs with a cup of juice (yes mellon nin, you do make a small cameo in this story as thanks for the inspiration). And finally, to my friends Sarah and Megan...the three of us have had so many klutzy moments...sorry I couldn't fit them all in here, in another fic perhaps. Also, any mistakes in here that I never found, but are still in here are my fault...at any rate, I think I've been rambling on quite long enough.  
  
Clumsy Elf, Prissy Human  
  
By Tiger  
  
It was in the dark of the night when the two weary travelers stopped in front of an inn. It was late, and both were exhausted. The man hadn't slept in days; the dark circles under his eyes told that to anyone who cared to look at his handsome face. But the elf standing beside him was much more exhausted than he did. Legolas felt lightheaded and his lack of rest clouded his senses. He swayed as he walked, his tired mind unable to focus on one thing at a time. Aragorn smiled as they had walked up to the inn, it wasn't a common sight to see the usually graceful elf act almost...human. If Aragorn didn't know Legolas any better, he would have said that his friend was drunk. Aragorn shook his head.  
  
"Well, mellon nin, are we going to stand here all night in the rain, or are you going to turn the door-knob under your hand?" Legolas snapped out of the trance he was in. He gave his friend a small glare as they went into the dry, warm, building. Inside, the innkeeper was waiting for them.  
  
"Gentleman, good evening, I'm Dalera," said the jolly, round lady. Her grey hair was pulled back into a knot covered by a simple white cap. She was a grandmotherly woman, especially with a shawl wrapped around her. Legolas and Aragorn could not help but feel at home. "What can I do for you? Something hot to drink, a bite to each and a warm room perhaps?" Aragorn gave her a warm smile.  
  
"Thank you, madam, that is exactly what we need, for we are weary travelers," he replied. "May we have a room first to put our things down?"  
  
"Of course you, you poor dears. Young man," Dalera turned to Legolas. "You look like you're about to fall over." Aragorn looked at Legolas who looked like he suddenly woke up.  
  
"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said, waving off Aragorn's attempt to help him. "I really am. Let's just get settled in, shall we mellon nin?"  
  
Aragorn sighed, "All right, Legolas, as long as you feel up to it." Truthfully, he wasn't quite sure if Legolas could stay on his feet for that much longer. Dalera nodded and after taking a key from one of the many hooks behind her, she led the pair up the stairs to a small, but comfortable looking room. She placed the candle and key on a nearby table.  
  
"This will be your room for as long as you stay. Breakfast is served from eight o'clock to ten o'clock. You are on your own for lunch. Dinner is served from six o'clock to ten o'clock. In fact, if you gentlemen want to eat right now, we're still serving," explained Dalera. Aragorn nodded his thanks.  
  
"Thank you, Dalera, we will be fine." Dalera bowed and made her way out of the room. Next to him, Legolas began putting his pack down, resisting the urge to crawl under the blankets and sleep. He was hungry.  
  
"Estel it is time for us to eat," said Legolas. Aragorn looked over at him with some concern.  
  
"Are you s--" he began, but Legolas cut him off.  
  
"Yes I'm sure of it," Legolas stated as he walked out of the door Aragorn sighed and tried to clean himself up a little bit as he followed his hungry friend tot he dining room. They spoke little as they walked, both were tired and lost in their own thoughts, as tired men tended to do. Then, Aragorn saw something that Legolas didn't.  
  
"Legolas! Look--" Aragorn tried to warn him. "Out." Legolas walked straight into a wooden pole. Aragorn grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "Are you all right?"  
  
Legolas gingerly put a hand on his now sore nose. "I'm fine." He winced a little as his hand rubbed his nose a little. "Though my nose thinks differently," he said with a lopsided grin. Aragorn could only laugh and they both sat down to dinner.  
  
Both were silent when they waited for their dinner to arrive. There was not much to talk about. Legolas looked down at his plate full of vegetables and crinkled his nose. Carrots. He didn't like carrots. They always seemed to leave and odd taste in his mouth, no matter what way it was cooked, or what sauce was slathered on it, he just didn't like carrots. Sighing, he grabbed Aragorn's fork and speared away at his plate and handed it back to Aragorn.  
  
"Here Estel, you can have my carrots, you know how much I hate them," Aragorn only looked between the fork and Legolas with a puzzled expression. "What?" Legolas said somewhat irritably. He was too tired to play games at the moment. Couldn't Aragorn have seen that?  
  
Aragorn only quirked the corner of his mouth up and replied, "What? So carrots are yellow now?" before he broke into a small chuckle.  
  
Legolas furrowed his brow, not understanding what his friend was finding so amusing. "What are you talking about? Carrots are orange!" Aragorn only laughed, pointing a finger down to the forkful of vegetables that Legolas was holding. Legolas looked down. "Oh," he said with a sheepish grin. He liked baby corn, no sense in him getting rid of those. He took the corn off the fork and this time, speared the carrots. "At any rate Estel, you can still have my carrots." Aragorn nodded amiably. No sense in letting good food go to waste.  
  
By the time their desert came, the dining room was empty. Aragorn was grateful for the emptiness. The room was a little dark because of the emptiness. The lanterns were dimmed so that the oil was not wasted and the only light came from the candles on the table. A sticky sweet scent wafted towards them from the kitchen door, waking Aragorn's and Legolas' stomachs to more hunger. There was a growling sound.  
  
"Strange," said Aragorn with a twinkle in his eye. "I'd thought that you had already eaten your fill, Legolas!"  
  
Legolas gave his friend a mock glare. "Just because I am tired does not mean that I cannot be hungry when a delicious scent comes my way," he said with all of the dignity he could muster. It was, after all, a rather large growl.  
  
"Here you go," Dalera said as she placed a plate of sweet sticky buns between them. "They're hot from the oven. Eat up now, there's more if you want. My daughter Lindsay could bring them out." Legolas shot her his most charming smile.  
  
"Thank you, Dalera. I'm sure that Estel and I will have enough before we fall asleep from all of the wonderful food!" Dalera gave them a small smile before leaving. Aragorn chuckled. His friend was probably over two thousand years old, but when he was safe and exhausted, he was no older than a ten-year-old human boy. Aragorn smiled as he was proven right when Legolas took a bun and exclaimed, "It's sticky!" His eyes lit up at the sweetness and the curious texture.  
  
"Of course, mellon nin," said Aragorn before his bit into one. "That is why they are called 'sticky buns'!" There was another peal of laughter from the two of them as they quickly polished off the plate.  
  
From the reception desk, Dalera peeked into the dining room and smiled. It wasn't often that one found a man and an elf traveling together. She was glad that they were enjoying her sticky buns. She made a note to herself to make more in the morning. Sighing, she got up and left the desk. She yawned, it was time for her to sleep. She could think about business in the morning. She went upstairs looking for her daughter, Lindsay. She found her and with a gesture of her hand, she indicated the dining room.  
  
"Let me guess mother," Lindsay said. "We have guests that just came in."  
  
"Yes, dear, they're all settled in, just stay down until they've eaten their fill. Your brother should be back soon for the night watch." She placed a tired kiss on her daughter's cheek before going to her room. Lindsay shrugged and went down the stairs. More guests meant more work for her. She would check up on them when she went to get a glass of juice for one of the inn's guests.  
  
She passed them in the dining room, they didn't even notice her, so engrossed they were in their sticky buns and joke. She poured a glass of the juice into a mug and left the kitchen. The guests were already walking out of the door. She looked at the table and looked at it again for a moment. It was clean. The plates and cups were neatly stacked and there was a small amount of coins on the table. Whoever the guests were, they were nice guests, Lindsay thought to herself as she followed them out the door, carefully holding the nearly full mug of juice.  
  
On their way out of the dining room, Legolas failed to notice the pole. Again. Aragorn was too preoccupied with thoughts of Arwen to pay attention to where they were going and Legolas was too exhausted to notice anything. That is, until his cheek registered the flash of pain from the hard, wood pole, and his ears the "thunk" from walking into it. Aragorn turned and arched an eyebrow at him. Legolas rubbed his eyes.  
  
"I'm awake mellon nin, I really am!" Legolas tried to assure Aragorn.  
  
"Sure you are," said Aragorn, not feeling reassured at all. "And I supposed the missing the pole the second time was because the pole moved?"  
  
"Well, I-" Legolas for once, was at a loss for words.  
  
"Just admit it, you're tired," Aragorn had a smug tone in his voice.  
  
"No."  
  
"Admit it!" it was not easy thing to get an elf to admit their weaknesses, but somehow, Aragorn managed to do it.  
  
"Fine, I'm tired. Can we go up now?" Legolas would have said anything just so he could run up the stairs and collapse into a bed.  
  
Aragorn smirked. "Good!" he said as he grabbed Legolas by his tunic sleeve. "Now come on you clumsy elf!" It was Legolas' turn to arch an eyebrow.  
  
"Clumsy? Me? I don't know what you're talking about, you prissy human." He retorted, feeling a little dizzy as he began walking up the flight of stairs.  
  
"Prissy?" shot back Aragorn. "Since when am I prissy? I'm a ranger." He huffed indignantly.  
  
"And I'm an elf, so when am I clumsy?" Legolas cheerfully, if not tiredly replied. He felt a need to yawn right then and there, so he did, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Unfortunately for him, he lost his sense of orientation when he closed his eyes. He stumbled back down one stair, colliding into a very surprised Lindsay. She gave a small shriek as she lost her balance and felt herself tumble down the stairs backwards. She kept a tight grip on the mug, but nearly let it go in surprise as she felt a large weight tumbling down with her. She felt the splash of the cold juice on her face, on her dress, and whoever just collided into her.  
  
Aragorn saw Legolas stumble and tried to catch him, but alas! Legolas fell too quickly along with the girl, whom he presumed to be Lindsay. "You would be clumsy now," he muttered as he lamented (and not for the first time) that he did not have elven reflexes. He sighed as the two rolling figures landed on top of each other at the bottom of the stairs. He walked down.  
  
When they finish tumbling down, Lindsay groaned. The man on top of her was rather heavy, despite his slender build. She let go of her grip on the mug and let it clink onto the floor. She grimaced a little. She was sticky, her hair was surely sticking out at all angles, and she smelled of juice. She would have a lot of cleaning to do tonight. She looked up into the man's, no not man, she corrected herself, noticing the pointed ears, the elf's face. His eyes were a little glazed over, but otherwise seemed to be awake.  
  
"Uh, sir?" she asked as she tried to push him off of her. "Sir? Could you please get off of me? I need to do some cleaning. Sir, are you-- ?" then it dawned upon her. His eyes were open. But that could have only meant—"Oh no! I've killed him! Oh no, oh no..." she renewed her efforts to push the body off of her. She heard light footsteps coming from the stairs, but ignored them.  
  
"No ma'am, he isn't dead," came a soft, gruff voice. She looked up. It was a man, dressed in dark colors. From the floor looking up, she say that he was rather tall, had dark brown hair and grey eyes that held a sparkle of amusement while they looked kindly down at her.  
  
"How can he not be dead? His eyes are open!" she retorted. The man reached down and grunted as he pulled the elf off of her.  
  
"He's only asleep. Elves sleep with their eyes open." The man shook the blond-haired elf. "Wake up mellon nin! I am not carrying you up the stairs!"  
  
"Five more minutes," Legolas murmured sleepily. Aragorn sighed.  
  
"If you would wake up for five minutes, you would be in bed."  
  
"Legolas opened his eyes a little. "Oh." He said. He looked down and saw Lindsay sitting on the floor, rubbing her head. "I'm sorry, are you all right?" he asked her. He held his hand out to help her up. She looked warily between his hand and his face, unsure of would happen if she took it. Finally, she sighed and grabbed it.  
  
"Thanks," she said once she was up, brushing herself off.  
  
"Do you require any assistance to clean up?" Legolas innocently asked.  
  
"No!" alarmingly exclaimed both Aragorn and Lindsay.  
  
"It's-it's alright, it's only mopping up the stairs really." Lindsay hastily explained.  
  
"Right," quickly agreed Aragorn. "Besides, didn't you want to sleep?"  
  
"Oh, right," remembered Legolas, yawning. "I am feeling a bit tired."  
  
Aragorn rolled his eyes. "Let's go before you knock anything else over." Legolas nodded. "Goodnight Lindsay, I hope that we were not much trouble."  
  
Lindsay smiled and nodded tiredly. "No, no problem. It was no trouble at all. Goodnight gentlemen." She went off to the kitchens for a mop and a bucket of water.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn slowly walked back up the stairs. Aragorn held tightly onto Legolas' arm so that he would not fall again. It was a great relief to both when they reached the last step. Legolas was the first one to reach the door. He took the knob and pulled at it. Nothing happened. He couldn't figure out why. He was thinking about it when something rudely slammed him into the door only moments after he himself turned the knob. After a moment, the enormous weight step away. Legolas turned around to find Aragorn looking at him with mild annoyance. Below them, about halfway down the stairs, mopping and giggling sounds were heard.  
  
"What?" both of them asked, annoyed that yet another display of their unusual clumsiness was witnessed. From below, Lindsay burst into merry laughter, leaning on her mop. It was infectious. Legolas and Aragorn started laughing not long after.  
  
"You-you'd think that an elf and a ranger would have more grace and brains than to walk into a door at the same time!" here, she paused for a much needed breath. "Well, I'll stop teasing the two of you since I think the elf is going to collapse again. But um, between the three of us," she leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "you push the door open, not pull it." With that, she began whistling and resumed mopping the juice off of the stairs.  
  
Legolas gave Aragorn a rather sheepish grin accompanied by various shades of red before pushing the door open. Aragorn only shook his head. Legolas cleaned off the juice with soap and water before gratefully collapsing onto one of the beds. It had been a rather sore night for him, though it was not without mirth. On the bed near the window, he heard Aragorn softly blow out the candle.  
  
"Goodnight, you clumsy elf," Aragorn sleepily mumbled.  
  
"Legolas chuckled and yawned. "Goodnight, you prissy human." It was not long before the room was silent save for their snoring.  
  
~Finis. 


End file.
